Yes, this is my 2nd post today. I just couldn't let the night pass without saying something about my baby turning one. Hard to believe that Micah is 1 already. Seems like just a few months ago when my sister was shouting "Get up! I will not let you have this baby in the toilet!" (I didn't by the way, in case anyone was wondering) One year ago I met my one and only son afraid that I wouldn't love him as much as I love my girls. Boy was I wrong! That mother-son bond everyone talked about that I thought was a little made up is definitely real. Not better or worse than my bond with the girls. Just different. And he is a BIG mama's boy!
Just a few things to remember about what he is doing now. He refuses to walk. If you try to make him walk alone he will just immediately sit down and look at you. He loves to play chase and squeals when you come after him and crawls fast as he can. He is mischevious and is already pushing buttons. He is opinionated and will let you know when he doesn't like something, when he wants something and when he is tired of something. He can say mama, dada, bite, bye bye, thank you, and papa. He has the prettiest eyes and longest lashes and he looks a lot like Jaycee. They smile and cry the same - both can really turn on the waterworks! One of his favorite things to do is empty out any cabinet or drawer he can reach. He has 4 teeth. He's a mess! I love him!
Friday, September 3, 2010
A Rough Patch
So - I'm just going to lay it all out b/c I need to get it out! Today (and the last several days) have been extremely trying. Tempers have flared, tears have run, voices have shouted. You name it, it's happened here. Todd and I probably got into the worst fight we've ever had today. Seems like things just keep escalating and I don't have time to catch my breath before we are at it again. Now, true, I am am hormonal right now and could possibly be a tiny bit over sensitive, but things right now are just not good!!! I keep trying to stay positive and focus on the good things, but all the bad things seem to overtake my mind. I am just tired of trying to be okay with everything that's happening and I feel like I am about to snap. Oh no! I'll be one of those women on WE that everyone can totally sympathize with!
Seriously, I really am trying to see God's plan in all of this -really hard! But I just don't. It's like everytime I come to grips with a new season in my life everything drastically changes again. Imagine if you walked outside ready for the day in your shorts and tank top only to open the door to a snowstorm. The next day you don your snowsuit and walk outside to a sunny 80 degree day. This happens everyday and you never get it right. Should you happen to get ahead and wear the same thing planning for the opposite type weather, the weather would stay the same just to spite you. That is how I feel. Constantly behind, wrong, and compeletely taken by surprise. And I'll just say this : It sucks!
Living with my parents is weird. I kind of always feel like I am in the way or getting on someone's nerves - Erin, don't you dare tell mom I said that - And I know they can feel the tension between Todd and me. I just don't want to put our stress on someone else. I'm afraid that is exactly what we've done. And then, just to make me feel a little more awkward, dad tells me that our pastor (who is a wonderful man of God) asked him if we would want them to finish the old fellowship hall for us to live in. Very gracious and humbling, but a little embarassing too. I guess it's my pride that doesn't want to be the poor family in the church who lost 2 homes and does'nt even have gas $. That I can get over, though. It does feel good to know that our church family loves us that much.
I just wish I had an answer or some insight into what I should be learning from this and how I should handle things. Sounds like I just need God.
Seriously, I really am trying to see God's plan in all of this -really hard! But I just don't. It's like everytime I come to grips with a new season in my life everything drastically changes again. Imagine if you walked outside ready for the day in your shorts and tank top only to open the door to a snowstorm. The next day you don your snowsuit and walk outside to a sunny 80 degree day. This happens everyday and you never get it right. Should you happen to get ahead and wear the same thing planning for the opposite type weather, the weather would stay the same just to spite you. That is how I feel. Constantly behind, wrong, and compeletely taken by surprise. And I'll just say this : It sucks!
Living with my parents is weird. I kind of always feel like I am in the way or getting on someone's nerves - Erin, don't you dare tell mom I said that - And I know they can feel the tension between Todd and me. I just don't want to put our stress on someone else. I'm afraid that is exactly what we've done. And then, just to make me feel a little more awkward, dad tells me that our pastor (who is a wonderful man of God) asked him if we would want them to finish the old fellowship hall for us to live in. Very gracious and humbling, but a little embarassing too. I guess it's my pride that doesn't want to be the poor family in the church who lost 2 homes and does'nt even have gas $. That I can get over, though. It does feel good to know that our church family loves us that much.
I just wish I had an answer or some insight into what I should be learning from this and how I should handle things. Sounds like I just need God.
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